So, yesterday I told myself that I needed to commit to writing something daily to make sure I don’t end up writing like a slob by the time my holidays are over (which is what happened after Os, by the way). So, here goes. My daily chronicles.

Today was a really early day, because I had work. I’m teaching 6 year olds gym, which is actually really fun if you take away the constant need to be raising your voice to make sure they pay attention/can hear you. Anyway, I was trying to be encouraging and giving them positive feedback, but I did realize that I had mentioned once or twice how “sitting up straight will make you look pretty” or “pointing your toes outwards is beautiful”. These are truly unintentional, because I do know that sentences like these leave a lasting impact. It shapes the very way you define beauty, and I really hope that they do not develop the gym way of viewing beauty because that notion is rather..damaging.

Anyway, moving on. I headed to Alexandra to meet Will and Nat for lunch (which is technically the last lunch I’ll ever share with him until next year at least, which kinda makes me a little sad.) They had their SATs before that and the terribly inefficient invigilators took a heapload of time to count the scripts so I waited for two hours. These people need to be sent back to kindergarten. It was doubly sad because the store I travelled all the way to Queensway for was closed so I was mostly bitter ha. But lunch was good, I was so full after! If I ever were to live in another country, I might be really bitter because that country would probably not have enough chili to go around)

After lunch, I went home to take a quick shower and to prepare for my siblings’ concert. I was emceeing for it, so we all went to the church together. To be honest, I really dread going to that orchestra. I don’t know whether it’s this insecurity, but it might be. Everytime I go there, I’m reminded of the talent in the room. And even more reminded of my lack thereof. Come on, there’s an eleven year od doing her diploma in violin. I know the book I’ve been reading tells me that ‘we’re celebrating her beauty’ and that “other people’s success is not your failure” but sometimes I guess its hard to not let it get to you. Sometimes, you ask yourself what you’re good at and come up empty. It happens. But I guess its good to keeping having the mindset that you are good at something. It may be hidden or insignificant, but you are good at something.

I guess today has been a really emotionally straining day. And an angsty one. But these days never last 🙂

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